Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?
Lately, I've been thinking about how content I am with being in my presence.
I wasn't always like this. Years ago, I would stay in relationships longer than needed because I was terrified of being alone.
When I was single, I entertained dates out of boredom, but now I find it hard to give my time to things that aren't fulfilling. I spent much of my life putting up with other people's drama and ignoring my needs that I lost myself.
Do you ever feel like you don't know yourself? Do you ever look around and ask yourself, how did I get here?
Those were the questions I started asking myself as years went by. I felt like I was constantly getting into situations that were unhealthy.
I didn't understand why I kept attracting specific energies. I didn't know why I always felt like something was missing, but when I started asking myself those questions, I realized I needed to work within myself.
I started paying more attention to how people speak to me, treat me, and show up in my life. I started paying attention to how I show up for myself and treat others. At the time, I couldn't fully understand my behavior, but the deeper I looked within myself, I realized it was because of what I've experienced throughout my life.
I am not sure at what age I lost my true identity. I am unsure when I became afraid of being alone that I held onto people, places, and things that no longer served me. I do know that I am no longer that person.
Gone are the days I entertain people, places, and things as a distraction or a coping mechanism. Gone are the days when I was afraid to be alone with my thoughts and feelings. Today and every day, I choose to focus on becoming the best version of myself.
Often we run from the betrayal, pain, and hurt we've experienced in life, but the funny thing is that you can't run from it. The stuff you resist will persist. You have to decide to look deep within and get to the bottom of why you behave the way you do. Ask yourself:
Why do I walk around mad at the world?
Why do I have a hard time trusting others?
Why do I judge everyone around me, including myself?
Why do I let people mistreat and take advantage of me?
Why am I living a facade?
It's easy to pay attention to the people around us. We blame them for our misfortune. We blame them for how we feel. We choose not to take accountability for our life because it's easier to place the blame. But I wonder how is that working out for you?
When we are unable to be alone, that's a red flag! The inner child is crying for help and seeking your attention, but you are constantly choosing to distract yourself with things that are NOT important. You run from yourself because you are afraid to get in tune with reality. When will you see that you deserve inner peace?
I am not sure what you have endured in your life, but I am here to tell you that you can overcome those feelings of unworthiness. You can overcome anything in your life if you decide to take action and work on healing. I know it's not easy facing your pain, but once you face it, you can FREE yourself from the lies you have been telling yourself.
You can FREE yourself from the negative self-talk.
You can FREE yourself from the unhealthy coping mechanism you engage in that sabotages your goals.
You can FREE yourself from living other people's dreams.
You can FREE yourself from doubt, guilt, and shame.
John 8:36 says, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." You can decide to change your life and FREE yourself from the mental prison you have placed yourself in, or you continue to wear a mask and pretend everything is okay. The decision is yours.
If you need help on your journey to FREEDOM, click the link.
I pray for healing in your life.
Love and Light,
Carolyn