Being Compassionate Vs. Self-Sacrifice
I would always confuse compassion with self-sacrifice. The Merrian-Webster definition of the word compassion is sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. The definition of the word self-sacrifice is a sacrifice of oneself or one's interest for others for or a cause or ideal.
In the past, I would constantly think of other people's feelings ahead of my own, thinking it was the compassionate thing to do. If someone wronged me and I knew they had a complicated past, I would be the bigger person and let them back into my life, acting as if nothing had happened. As time passed, I began to see that it was a bad idea and that I should have spoken up and set boundaries to protect myself. You always hear that it's important to forgive people and release the pain, but that doesn't mean you allow the person back into your life, especially if it doesn't feel good. We can get caught up being compassionate to others to the detriment of our well-being. Many people will try to come back into your life without apologizing for how they treated you or changing their unhealthy behavior that created the tension in the first place. If you allow them back into your life without real change, you ask for trouble.
The reality is that no matter how gracious you are, some things must stay in the past; this doesn't make you a bad person. It means you are no longer interested in connecting to that energy. I have learned that it's important to follow your inner guidance when giving someone access to you. Allow that gut feeling/intuition to let you know who is for you and who needs to remain in the past. Allow your higher self to guide you with the connections in your life.
Nowadays, my intuition speaks so loudly that I don't get confused. If someone sends me a message that lights up my face, and I feel calm, I will proceed but always with caution. If I don't feel good about the interaction, I won't entertain it. Trust your decision when you decide to do what is best for you. Do not overthink it or talk yourself out of allowing people back into your life who once caused you extreme anxiety. You are not required to set yourself on fire to please other people, but you are required to do what feels good in your heart.
God (universe) blessed us all with the spirit of discernment, and the more we sow into ourselves and connect on a higher level, the better it will be to make decisions we can trust. Yes, showing unconditional love to those around us is essential, but it doesn't mean we continue entertaining energies that no longer serve us. Never sacrifice yourself because you THINK it's the compassionate thing to do because it can lead you down the wrong road. Yes, people can change, which is the beautiful thing about this journey. Only if and when they change you will be able to tell the difference and act accordingly.
To learn about following your intuition or gut feeling, click here.
Reason, Season, Lifetime Poem
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
If you need help trusting yourself again, click the link and book a session with me.
I am sending you love, light, and good luck on your journey.
Carolyn